Gloriana
Lead Me On

There you go in all your beautiful glory
Messing with my head like you always did

I’m thinking things I don’t want to say
And I can’t breathe
What do I have to tell you girl
So you won’t leave

Tell me what I want to hear
I don’t care if you’re lying baby
I just want to feel you touch me right now
Go ahead and call it love
Tomorrow you can deny it baby
Kiss me again, let me pretend
That it’s not wrong
Baby, lead me on

I wanna touch your skin, I wanna taste it
I wanna feel that love like we used to make it

I don’t care if we go nowhere
You’re all I see
One more night with you
Is all I need

Tell me what I want to hear
I don’ t care if you’re lying baby
I just want to feel you touch me right now
Go ahead and call it love
Tomorrow you can deny it baby
Kiss me again, let me pretend
That it’s not wrong
Baby, lead me on

I know what you want
I know what you need
I know when I’m gone
You’ll still think of me
You know what I want
You know what I need
I know when you’re gone
You won’t even think about me

Tell me what I want to hear
I don’ t care if you’re lying baby
I just want to feel you touch me right now
So go ahead and call it love
Tomorrow you can deny it baby
Whisper my name, baby no shame
Is it so wrong?
Baby, lead me on

I know what you want
I know what you need
I know when I’m gone
You won’t even think about me

Baby, lead me on

A small part of me wants to hide, however a major part of me whats to shout it from the roof tops and take it head on!!

This  may come across a bit like ‘woe is me‘, but that’s not my intention. This is just my way of letting it out and expressing how I feel.

It’s very clichéd… when people talk about how someone comes into their life and they are ‘changed forever’. I’m unsure if this is what I have experienced, as only time will tell, but I can reveal that someone very special did come into my life and made a huge impact…. probably more that she realises.

I do have to confess however that I did (not on purpose) break a promise I made to myself when I started this blog back in October 2008. I promised myself that if I was to meet someone special, that I would not jump in the deep end, that I would not suffer the ‘nice guys finish last‘ syndrome again…. but, to a degree I broke those promises I made to myself, and at this point in time I am totally regretting it!!! Yet again, this nice guy has finished last.

Having had a little amount of time to ponder over these mistakes, I am now truly aware of how POWERFUL the ‘heart‘ can be over the mind.

You see (lets call her) Miss G made it quite obvious after my second visit to her in Dec 09/Jan 10 that things were going a bit fast for her, and I totally agreed… it was a bit fast for me as well.

At that point, when I returned home to Sydney, I wish I would have read my blog and reminded myself about what NOT to do.  But the heart took over…. big time, and I kinda understand why I let it take over, but I should have been stronger…. much stronger.

Now… I don’t at all believe that there is that ‘perfect someone’ out there for us. Simply because we are all human. We are not perfect, we all make mistakes. However we do meet people, and fall in love with people who complement ourselves… like an extension of your soul or being. You also have in the back of you mind that you would like to spend time with someone who has certain characteristics or traits… again, complimenting your characteristics or traits, and not necessarily being ‘the same‘ ones.

Miss G ticked alot of box’s. Tall, intelligent, sensual, friendly and outgoing, plus numerous other things. One in particular was her passion for things she believes in.. oh,  and those gorgeous big dark brown eyes.

I put up a lot of walls after my experiences in 2008, and I thought they were pretty sturdy, with deep foundations. In the weeks leading up to meeting Miss G for the first time, I was quite confident that these walls were rock solid. At the time I was actually quite scared of what would happen if these walls I had in place disappeared!

Well… after meeting Miss G for the first time, looking into her gorgeous brown eyes, the walls started to crumble… the heart moved into the space where my brain was and took over…. damn it!!

Over that weekend and the next couple of weeks talking on the phone, I found myself falling for this truly wonderful women. Someone who I thought I would never meet. She accepted me into her life, accepting the person that I am on the inside.

We did have some happy times, from Putt-Putt with her daughter, thru to truly romantic occasions, like a candle lit dinner for her birthday. These times will remain with me for ever.

But….allas, it was not to be. My heart had taken over. I used the ‘L’ word much, much, much to soon… and the kind-hearted soul that I am bought a few to many gifts. Miss G was overwhelmed, and smothered with my kindness…. and she told me so. Did I listen? Well, of course I did… but with being scared of losing this wonderful women from my life, and the tyranny of distance…. needless to say, I failed her.

So, as hard as it is… I have accepted and respected Miss G’s decision, after all, I only have myself to blame. But, I am also frustrated… very frustrated that, due to the tyranny of distance, she was unable to see more of the true me. The Marcus that exist’s when his heart is back where it should be. The Marcus that exists when he is not a nervous wreck. The true Marcus that has not been around very often over the last 4 months because he allowed his heart to take over (AGAIN)…. I’m disappointed that Miss G did not get to meet the true me.

But the decisions have been made… and as much as it hurts, I guess I just have to move on…..

Miss G (and her lovely daughter) will ALWAYS have a very special place in my life and heart. All I hope for, is that we remain good friends… I think this a given. And maybe (and that’s a very small minute maybe) I’ll get to look deep into those eyes again. If not, so be it. But I know that I can continue on with life, content with the fact that I DID look into those big brown eyes.

Miss G, if you do happen to read this…. what you saw when you looked into my baby blues was nothing more than a romantic fool, who was falling in love…. I only wish you had the opportunity to look deeper.

You are not alone tonight
Imagine me there by your side
It’s so hard to be here so far away from you
I’m counting the days till
I’m finally done
I’m counting them down, yeah, one by one
It feels like forever till I return to you
But it helps me on those lonely nights
It’s that one thing that keeps me alive

Chorus:
Knowing that you wait for me
Ever so patiently

No one else knows the feeling inside
We hang up the phone without saying goodnight
Because it’s the sound of your voice that brings me home
It’s never been easy to say
But it’s easier when I’ve gone away

Chorus:
Knowing that you wait for me
Ever so patiently
Yeah, you’re everything I’ve ever dreamed of having and
It’s everything I need from you just knowing that you wait for me

Bridge:
What I’d give
What I’d do
Knowing I’m not there for you
Makes it so hard to leave
What I’d give
What I’d do
Anything to get me home to you
And this time I’ll stay

And you wait for me
Ever so patiently
Yeah, you’re everything I’ve ever dreamed of having and
It’s everything I need from you just knowing that you wait for me

“The media sector is in the midst of an unprecedented shift in the way it interacts with its consumers.  The ABC is adapting to the changing media landscape, not only in what we deliver to consumers, but in how we deliver it.

Today we are announcing a major change in the TV Presentation and Master Control functions of the ABC.

Television Presentation is where all of our programming is consolidated for distribution, either via satellite, cable or transmitter.  It includes the program material as well as station identity, watermarking, captioning, promotions and program classifications.  Master Control facilitates and manages the switching, monitoring and quality control of the various signals in, out and around the networks.

This work has been done largely the same way since television was introduced in Australia.  It involves the use of major network infrastructure and staff in Sydney with smaller infrastructure and staffing in each capital city for local events.

With the Presentation infrastructure due for replacement, advances in technology have created opportunities that will significantly enhance our ability to deliver programming to Australian audiences.  As a result the ABC is proposing a change in infrastructure that will lower our technology and running costs, while increasing the capability and capacity for television now and into the future.

In seeking to meet our desire to be the country’s ‘Town Square’, where communities can exchange information on what affects them directly, the ABC must devise new services and an efficient way to deliver them.

The ABC will be partnering with WIN Television Network Pty Ltd in a joint venture, to build a custom designed play-out facility for our television requirements.  By working with another broadcaster to defray the costs, the benefits that can be delivered through file based digital production technologies will be another step forward in the evolving media landscape.”

So… our department, Broadcast Operations is more or less being privatised. Without going into a lot of boring details…. 99% of us will be made redundent.

At first I was pissed off, but since then I have seen it as an opportunity. As previoulsy noted in my blog, I feel the need to move to Tasmania…. and the redundency pay out I get from the ABC will facilitate this move. I’ll be able to pay out my debt, get a bike and move my life to Hobart. I have been excited about this for a long time… but as the time of the move gets closer, the more excited I get. The only thing that does worry me just a tiny bit is gaining employment in Tassie. I am confident about finding work, but having no income for X amount of time… it does scare me just a little.

I also have another reason to move to Tassie…. not previously mentioned on this blog. More on that next time

Her latest release is a song titled ‘Caught in the Crowd’. I totally adore it.

Take the time to listen to this song, and take note of the lyrics.

There was a guy at my school when I was in high school
We’d ride side by side in the morning on our bicycles
Never even spoken or faced each other
But on the last hill we’d race each other

When we reached the racks we’d each go our own way
I wasn’t in his classes, I didn’t know his name
When we finally got to speak he just stared at his feet
And mumbled a sentence that ended with ‘James’

I was young and caught in the crowd
I didn’t know then what I know now
I was dumb, and I was proud
And I’m sorry
If I could go back do it again
I’d be someone you could call friend
Please please believe that I’m sorry

Well he was quite a big guy, kinda shy and quiet
When the kids called him weird he didn’t try to deny it
Every lunchtime he’d spend walking by himself
Round the boundary of the grounds til he heard the bell

Well one day I found him, joined him on his walk
We were silent for a while until we started to talk
I told him my family were fighting in court
He said his step-dad and him always fought

We talked about music, he was into punk
Told me all the bands that I liked were junk
I said I’d never heard the songs the sex pistols sang
I laughed back at him and then the bell rang

I was young and caught in the crowd
I didn’t know then what I know now
I was dumb, and I was proud
And I’m sorry
If I could go back do it again
I’d be someone you could call friend
Please please believe that I’m sorry

It was after school in the afternoon
The corridors were crowded as we came out of the rooms
Three guys I knew pushed him into the cement
Threw away his bag and said he had no friends

He yelled that he did and he looked around
Tried getting up but they pushed him on down
That’s when he saw me, called out my name
And I turned my back, and just walked away
Yeah i turned my back, and just walked away

I was young and caught in the crowd
I didn’t know then what i know now
I was dumb, and i was proud
And I’m sorry
If I could go back, do it again
I’d be someone you could call friend
Please please, believe that I’m sorry.

1. Pumpkin Soup (with sour cream & crunchy croutons)
2. French Toast
3. Roast Lamb Dinner (with mint sauce, crunchy roast potato, roast sweet potato, roast pumpkin & gravy)
4. Roast Pork Dinner (with apple cause, crunchy roast potato, roast sweet potato, roast pumpkin & gravy)
5. Green Curries
6. Bacon & Egg Roll’s
7. Home made hamburgers/pizzas
8. Kraft Deluxe Macaroni & Cheese
9. My home made Chicken Boscaiola
10. Mums Chicken Hawaiian

It was my birthday and I share this Kristy, one of my new friends in Tassie. David’s girlfriend Emmas’ birthday is just 4 days after, so what better excuse is there to head to Tassie for 4 days and paartaay!!

I figured it was time to catch up with best mate Shaun who has been in Adelaide for a few years, so the invite went out for him to join me in Tassie and assist with the celebrations. Thankfully he was more than happy to fly in from Adelaide and join in.

I decided to spend as much time in Tassie as possible, so I took two days off work and made it a Fri-Mon long weekend.

I booked myself on the 6.25 am flight out of Sydney that arrived in Hobart about 8.10am. My friend Steve (aka Smack) picked me up from the airport (thanx Smack!!) and dropped me at Davids place so I could pick up the Zook!!

I then proceed to find myself some breaky at Hungary Jacks and sourced some supplies for the weekend at Eastlands shopping centre. It was then time to head back to the airport to pick up Shaun. His flight arrived at 12.15pm.

We both then headed directly to Mt Wellington. I knew it was going to be cold and windy…. but I was not expecting snow!!! It had snowed earlier in the week, but it did not stay around long… so to witness it snowing on Mt Wellington was an unexpected bonus.

After enduring the cold of Mt Wellington we headed to the Cascade Brewery at the base of Mt Wellington for a tour of the factory. I had been wanting to do this tour for may years. It was fascinating, however it was a bit disappointing that it was the monthly Rosterd Day Off for the factory, so not a lot was going on, it fact the place was very quite. I would like to go back and do the tour on a working day to see everything in action. After the tour we are given three tokens each so that we can sample three beers. The area where you meet for the tours is very nice, set in beautiful gardens. The gift shop has lots of very cool Cascade stuff. Shaun & I settled for a stubby holder each.

It was then time to head to town, find a park near the Ocean Child, where we are meeting the others for dinner. I wanted to show Shaun ‘Joe’s Garage’, which rightly calls itself the most unique bar in Australia. It’s on old car mechanics workshop, transformed into a very cool drinking facility. There are all kinds of motoring related paraphernalia attached to the walls, ceiling and floor. A very cool place to visit and have a beer.

 We then walked back to the Oceans Child were we found a good portion of the gang had already arrived. Time for introductions and another beer. A good time was had, and of course the food was out standing… I had prawns, wrapped in chicken, wrapped in bacon covered in a wonderfully creamy light mustard sauce. Pure heaven!!!!

After dinner Shaun & I made our way to Eaglehawk Neck for a much deserved good nights sleep.

On the Saturday I took Shaun on a tour of the Tasman Peninsular, having lunch at Nubeena. I wont go into too much detail, but he got to see a few of the sites, and Shaun now has a taste for the area. I’m sure he’ll be bringing his family back for a holiday.

We arrived back at Dads place in time for festivities to begin for the impending night of drinking & fun. It truly was a top night… I’ll let a few pictures tell the story.

On the Sunday we started with bacon & egg rolls , and then a few hours of 4WD’ing was planned. Cousin Leigh arrived in his Landcrusier, and Shaun & I followed in the Zook, just 10 mins up the road to Murdunna. As Leigh had other commitments that afternoon, we could not play for long. But we had a few hours to get the Zook very bogged and very dirty!!! It was alot of fun.

That afternoon we just chilled for a few hours, and then had dinner with Dad & Maz. After dinner Shaun & I chatted for hours before hitting the sack.

The following day was home time for Shaun & I. Shaun’s flight left at 1230 so we left kind of early so we could take the scenic route thru Primrose Sands, Carlton & Dodges Ferry. I dropped Shaun of at the airport and then had to occupy myself for the afternoon. First stop was a car wash to give the Zook a hose down…. she looked so good with all the mud… but it had to come off. Then I headed to Sorell where I picked up a Chips & Gravy from ‘Legs n Breasts’, which I shared with some friendly ducks at a park in Sorell.

I then had a drive around Midway Point, and a beer at the local Tavern and headed out to Richmond where I put the new camera to good use, taking some pics of the Richmond Bridge…and more ducks!!I had a snooze in the Zook… and soon enough it was time to meet up with David and head off to dinner at the China Diner before he dropped me off at the airport for an 8.30pm flight back to Sydney.

It was certainly a top weekend, made even better by catching up with Shaun.

I am now much more certain that my impending move to Tassie is the right thing to do…. bring it on!!

The Khanafari was held on private property near Bathurst and included some basic 4WD events, as well as a couple of more challenging courses to navigate. Unfortunately I did not take my camera, so I have no pictures, however I did find this video of the event on YouTube as posted by a member of LROC.

I had a lot of fun on the weekend… catching up with Suzuki Club members and well as making new acquaintances with LROC members. The banter around the camp fire was particularly humerus

After completing the fun events on each day, I decided to take the Zook through the ‘difficult’ courses. As the courses were designed to be ‘more challenging’ for the larger Land Rover vehicles, it was a stroll in the park for the little red Zook!!! However I was amazed at the amount of comments I received about how surprised people were that the little stock Vitara conquered the 2 difficult courses with ease.

The only down side to the weekend…. on the way home crossing the mountains, the clutch decided to die. So it was a very slow drive the rest of the way home.

On a positive note, at the following club meeting I was presented a trophy… First Place Suzuki @ Khanafari 2009…. nice!

First Place @ LROC Khanafari.

Since my last update relating to my trip to the Victorian High Country with friend Kim, I have been to Tassie again, attended a 4WD event at Bathurst, been 4WD’ing at Lithgow and visited cousins near Newcastle…. and all hell has broken out at work!!!!

Let the blogging begin!!!

We packed up our stuff, left the dollars for the hotel owner we never saw and headed towards Cooma to find some brekky.

Just for something different we had Macca’s for brekky at Cooma and decided it was time to head our separate ways.

At this point I would like to thank Kim for coming on the trip…. yes it was cut short, however we did get to do some memorable 4WD’ing. Next time we’ll be able to get to these areas we missed out on this time. Thanx again

As I was in a fair amount of pain, I decided to take my time to get home and take a different route, just to mix it up a little.

I headed towards Canberra, but diverted off the Monaro Highway at Michelago and headed up Burra Road to see what I could see.

Was a nice diversion, great scenery, cows on road etc etc.

Eventually got to the Old Cooma Road and headed towards Queanbeyan. Got on the Kings Highway at Queanbeyan and headed towards Tarago and then onto Braidwood Road and headed strait for Goulburn.

I wanted to see where they moved the Big Merino too… I found it, got a couple of pies and a can on ‘V’ for lunch and had a break.

Continued towards Sydney on the Hume Highway, but only got as far as Marulan… and I needed to stop for a sleep. 4 hours later it was time to make the last stretch home… which was uneventful.

This concludes this epic adventure. Only thing left to say is…. the next day I had root canal therapy!!